Not How I Pictured It

Well, this morning I finally did something that God's been telling me to do for quite a while. And, I guess I've been behaving a bit like a child about it. Because I've essentially been ignoring Him. Stamping my feet and screaming, "I DON'T WANNA!".

So He's been very patiently placing people in my path who all keep saying the same thing: "You have a beautiful voice. Have you ever sung with a group? Have you ever sung in church? You should!". And every time, I've been blushing a little, thanking them politely, and then proceeding to give them an excuse why the time isn't right. But essentially they were just variations on "I DON'T WANNA!".

This past week while on the mission trip, God was working overtime with this kind of thing. 4 separate people talked to me about singing in church. A couple of them told me that they can hear me during worship and they really think I should be up front. Even one of the guys who led the singing during our worship times together approached me and said the same thing.

And so.

Now I've reached a point where God's not going to let me simply get away with an, "I DON'T WANNA."

And today, I finally responded to God's push through the desires in my heart (because even though I've been saying "I DON'T WANNA" and resisting, it's something I've felt called to do since the first day I set foot in my church) as well as the words of others. I took a deep breath, walked my little butt up to the front of the church, and talked to the band leader about singing with them.

The funniest part is that before all of that happened, the pastor preached all about whining and wanting to do things our way instead of listening to God. He said he figures that God gets little 3 year old tantrums from us a lot.

So, anyway, as the title says, the whole talking to the band leader thing was not how I pictured it. It's not like I was expecting some sort of fanfare or for him to gasp out, "OH great, we've been waiting for you!". But he simply took down my email address, told me he'd  probably have to meet with me next week to see what I'm good at and not good at. He looked almost suspicious when he asked if I could do harmonies and I cautiously answered, "Some."

And you know what? Ordinarily, that would be enough to shake me up. That would be enough to make me rethink the whole thing, especially if he forgot to email me. But you know what else? I'm not worried. I know that I did what I was supposed to do. Now God will take care of the rest. It's not on me, and there's no sense in freaking out about it.