a Christmas miracle: I wrote an entry! ;)

Ok, I'll own it. I sort of have abandoned this blog. Each and every time I think about writing, I get all hung up on it being good and meaningful. But enough of that. Let's just write.

Tis the season. Right now, it's beginning to make a lot of people say, "Bah humbug." Even for me, a woman who loves Christmas and everything about it. There's still a tiny Scrooge inside of me from time to time. During the holiday season, I have been trying to serve. But, this post was prompted by the actions of others.

For those of you who are feeling discouraged, lost, or let down by humanity (what with the horrible violence in the news and the whole "end of the world" thing), fear not. Jesus is alive and well this Christmas season. I do hear His voice and see His face through others. It's just in the tiny things.

It's in the thoughtful gifts I've already begun to receive. The store clerks who are actually smiling and treating me well. ( One gave me a coupon to use on an already discounted item without being asked. Another gave me a heavily discounted price on an item without a tag.)  But what really brought this on was the woman I just met at Target.

I was in a rush to get in and out of that place because it was crowded and a bit crazy. So I was having all my items rung up in the snack bar area while purchasing my lunch. I wound up with really full hands. Frantically trying to slide everything down the counter and into my arms, I apologized to the woman behind me. " Sorry, I'm kind of a mess today."  Rather than rolling her eyes, sighing deeply, or simply looking annoyed (a typical reaction for other frantic shoppers lately), she smiled and told me it was no big deal. "You need a bag," she said. I told her I was planning on getting one from the check-out area as soon as I got out of her way. "I can do it," she said and was gone before I could tell her she didn't have to do it. Not only did she bring me a bag, she actually held it open for me and helped me put all of my items inside. It may seem like a little thing, but it sure got my attention and reminded me about what I want to be doing with myself. Hopefully this will be a new beginning for this blog.

Merry Christmas to all, and don't forget to look for Him in the faces around you.

a small check-in

I know it must seem like I've abandoned this blog. I don't want to make excuses, but the truth is that life has been very full and busy lately. I am still seeking God each day, I'm just not taking the time to document it as often.

Yesterday I served by spending time in God's word. I didn't feel well in the morning and wound up missing church. At the suggestion of my boyfriend, I got out my Bible. We spent time praying, reading together, and discussing what we had read. I loved the chance to spend time this way with him and share my faith a bit. I hope God liked it too.

get comfortable

Today I did my best to serve God by offering comfort. I truly believe that God holds me tightly when I'm in need of comfort myself. I did my best to allow His comfort to flow through me while dealing with children who were not feeling well, had been hurt, were tired, or simply needed attention.

There are some verses on the wall beside my bed. I put them there when my Mom was very sick, my world was turned upside down, and I was in despair.

¹² “I, even I, am he who comforts you.
Who are you that you fear mere mortals,
human beings who are but grass,
¹³ that you forget the Lord your Maker,
who stretches out the heavens
and who lays the foundations of the earth,
that you live in constant terror every day
because of the wrath of the oppressor,
who is bent on destruction?
For where is the wrath of the oppressor?
¹⁴ The cowering prisoners will soon be set free;
they will not die in their dungeon,
nor will they lack bread.
¹⁵ For I am the Lord your God,
who stirs up the sea so that its waves roar—
the Lord Almighty is his name.
¹⁶ I have put my words in your mouth
and covered you with the shadow of my hand—
I who set the heavens in place,
who laid the foundations of the earth,
and who say to Zion, ‘You are my people.’”

- Isaiah 51: 12-16 (NIV)

every blessing You pour out

I've decided that tonight I'm going to serve God by simply taking some time to thank Him. My life has never been easy and a lot of pain has come alongside a lot of pleasure. But lately the blessings have simply been pouring out. I don't feel like I deserve all the happiness that has been coming my way. But I am grateful and amazed at the goodness of the God I serve. Some things I'm currently thankful for:

* an exciting new position with my job that I love and adore
* my wonderful friends and family
* a caring new man in my life
* a great roommate/home
* the love and support of others through all the tough times
* the impending birth of my niece and the chance to celebrate her soon
* the immediate answer to my prayers while my car almost got stuck in a huge mud hole last night

One thing that I struggle with is the ability to accept the blessings as they come without worrying about the tragedy that seems to automatically come in my life. The reality is, everyone is going to have some hard things in life. And worrying about them won't prevent them from coming. All I can do is trust God to work things out for His glory.

the actions of others

Today I did something that is not terribly easy for me. I actively chose to follow another's example and not be bitter or filled with self-pity. I stood at the cusp of falling into the pit of those ugly feelings, and I said, "NO." I remembered the actions of another, and chose her path. It seems as though my actions were rewarded as my situation improved dramatically not long after I made this choice.

I also saw God today. He took the form of a man in the self check-out line of Meijer. Rather than taking the next prime available spot in the line next the one I'd been waiting in, he politely pointed out that the wait was shorter over there and inquired if I would like to go next in line. It might sound silly, but there are so few people like that in the world anymore. So few who would take the time to look out for another rather than put themselves first. And then not expect anything in return. (I promise, he didn't seem to be flirting at all.) To me, that is worthy of notice. Worthy to mention. Godly behavior.

I can learn a lot from the actions of others, if I just take the time to notice.

many ways

Today presented many ways to serve God.

I got to praise and worship in church this morning.

I was given the opportunity to let someone know how much her words meant to me after she spoke in front of the congregation. We also had a follow-up conversation this evening and promised to pray for each other as we find ourselves in similar circumstances.

I got to help my church share music and popcorn with the community during an outdoor concert at a park.

And I also have a prayer request from a family member. Please pray for her friend who is going through chemo, if you are so-inclined.

I'm going to do it.

I made a decision today.  It's something I've been considering for a while, but was inspired to actually do for three reasons. I want to donate my hair to make a wig for a woman who has cancer.

Reason 1: A friend of mine recently did this and it inspired me to think about acting on it. It's something I've been aware of and considered doing for years. I guess I've just never had the follow-through or the guts.

Reason 2: It would be a great way to serve others and God.

Reason 3: I want to honor my Mother by doing this. I'm going to wait until her birthday on November 11 and then have it cut. It's getting crazy long so it'll be a bit tough to wait. But I think it will be more meaningful if I do and give me something to do on a day that is bound to be somewhat difficult.

If you're interested, here's the link to the Pantene site that I plan to use for donation purposes:
http://www.pantene.com/en-US/PanteneBeautifulLengths/Details/beautiful-lengths-make-the-cut.aspx

not just me me me

This week has been good. There have been many people weighing on my mind and heart. So, this week I served God through prayer. Right now there are a couple people that I'm thinking about in particular. One who specifically requested prayers for herself and her son. Another is a person who I'm close to whose Mom is in the hospital. I can really relate to that and know how hard it can be. I hope he knows that I'm keeping him in my thoughts and asking God to hold his family close. I hope that God will continue to show me those who need Him. Not only does it give me a chance to share my faith, but it allows God to let them know that He's listening by bringing their need for prayers to my attention.

That is one thing about prayer that I think is so interesting. I think God sometimes uses it as a teaching tool for me and a way to be blessed. He obviously is aware of the people I mentioned and knows exactly what is going on. But, I think sometimes people need help inviting Him into a situation. Or they just feel more supported/heard when others are praying as well. Often my prayers can be self-centered. Although prayer is a personal thing, I think that it is important to realize that God wants us to remember those around us when we pray. Praying for someone can really strengthen a relationship with that person. And taking a few minutes to care deeply about that person and what they are thinking/feeling/going through allows me to reflect on how much God loves them and me.

permission

I've given myself permission not to freak out over posting every day. I will continue to seek ways to serve God each day. But if I have nothing of note to write about and I miss writing for a day or two, I'm not going to worry about it.

In the meantime, I have been praying for a little boy who is sick. Please take a moment and pray for him as well if you don't mind. God will know who you're talking about.

a small prayer

After an action-packed, fun-filled birthday weekend for me, I'm trying to get back to the blogging business at hand. Today was truly a day of rest for me (I needed a little recharging time). Therefore, I didn't necessarily interact with the outside world all that much.

So tonight is another night that I am choosing someone in my life to pray for. The person (chosen at random from FB) is an awesome individual. I've had the pleasure of working with her briefly and teaching her 2 daughters. She is hilarious and her daughters are a hoot as well. She is someone in my life that I wish I knew a little better and actually had opportunities to get to know better. In the meantime, tonight I pray for health and happiness for her entire family and guidance as she chooses between 2 job opportunities. She and her family have been a blessing on my life and I wish them nothing but the best.

whispers and shouts

"Exchange whispers with God before shouts to the world." That is something that I just heard on the radio on the way home from work (obviously I was listening to the Christian station). The woman who said it was speaking about her need to plug in to God's word each morning before hitting up Facebook, blogs, etc. She says it sets the tone for her whole day. This of course first made me feel a little guilty. I've already mentioned how I've tried many times to have time with God first thing in the morning and failed miserably because I just can seem to focus the way I should. And I am guilty of sneaking a bit of internet time into my morning routines. But, I do think that spending time with God before bed can also help set the tone for my morning, and therefore my day. And I have to do what works for me.


Soon, though, I started thinking about this phrase in another way. Something else that I tend to do is go to others (through my phone, the internet, or even face to face) before going to God when something happens in my life.  Whether it's something good or bad, it's often like a reflex to share it with other people before going to God. I would like to get better about this.

I also spent a little time thinking about how I both whisper AND shout to God. I believe there is a time for each in life. Both in joy and in pain.

I also think it's so cool that one little line on the radio sparked all this thought and even this entry. Obviously it's something that I needed to hear.

gifts

God kept me protected today as I faced my fears and drove that darn bus. And my fellow teachers were looking out for me as well, and that sure did help, too.

Also, I discovered a fun little talent today. After nearly 32 years of nothing, today I was able to win while playing one of those claw machine games. Not only that, I was able to win multiple times. I used this new-found ability to share some smiles/love. I gave away a teddy bear and two soft Reds baseballs. Unexpected little presents are always fun. And I love to give gifts. Imagine how God must feel, getting to give away stuff that is far better than a little stuffed animal or toy. Pretty amazing, when you really think about it. There are so many cool God-given gifts in this world. Some people can dance. Some can sing. Some can make us laugh. Some can write. Others are really good at calming people down. I could go on, but you get the idea.

 Not to mention the fact that he gave us the ultimate gift: His son. Which is so amazing my words could never do it justice.....

scary

Today's post topic is easy to figure out. Today God stayed with me and held my hand as I did something that scared me.

Driving is not something that came naturally to me. Not by any means. I didn't have my license until I was well into my 20s. I was a nervous driver and just couldn't seem to connect my motions with the wheel to what my car was doing. And spatial awareness while in a car has always been tricky for me.

But, this summer, I began to step out on faith and conquer my fears a bit. I agreed to do something I never thought I would do: drive a school van. Eventually, after getting the chance to be comfortable, I even *gasp* drove it with children inside of it. And all was well. But trust me, I put up quite the fight before being willing to even try.

And now, here I go again.

Today I was informed that it was absolutely necessary for me to try to learn to drive the bus. It was either that, or miss out on the final trip with my summer campers this summer.

And, you know what? I was a bit nervous. But lately, I've really just felt more confident about doing things I never would have done before. I swear sometimes I can feel my Mom (who recently passed away) cheering me on. And so, with a prayer to God and a request to her to watch over me, I got in the bus. And I drove it. I took my time and figured out where everything was and how it worked. I didn't let myself get too worked up. And I did it.

I think this verse is a great way to end this one:

Philippians 4:13
I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

FINALLY

Yesterday I FINALLY got to sing with the band in church. And you know what, I had a ball. Being up there felt natural. My favorite part? Looking out into the crowd and seeing them all worshiping in their own way. Everyone said I did a good job, which was nice to hear.

Today presented a challenge. I had an exhausting weekend, and I was extremely sleep-deprived. It turned out to be one of the more challenging/action-packed days we've had at work in a long while. I worked very intentionally and actively to not take my exhaustion out on those around me and treat them in as Godly a way as possible. I'm fairly certain that I mostly succeeded. Which is a great feeling!

replete with very me

Tonight I attempt to prepare my mind and heart for singing in church in the morning. The main thing I've been thinking about it making sure that it's not about me. I want to be in connection with God and not worried about anything else. This sort of thinking reminded me of something that I once read in a Madeleine L'Engle book. (I adore her and have learned a lot about faith and what I believe by reading her books- both fiction and non.)

Here's what I'm talking about:
“If thou could'st empty all thyself of self
Like to a shell dishabited
Then might He find thee on the ocean shelf
And say This is not dead and fill thee with Himself instead.

But thou art all replete with very thou
And hast such shrewd activity
That when He comes He says This is enow Unto itself - 'twere better let it be
It is so small and full there is no room for me.”
― Madeleine L'Engle, A Ring of Endless Light

In case you're not into that whole poetry and old language sort of thing, let me break it down for you in "real English".

If you could empty all yourself of self
Like an empty shell
Then He might find you in the ocean
And say This is not dead and fill you with Himself instead.

(If you can forget about you and let God in, He might fill you up.)

But you are so full of yourself
And your activities are so shady/intelligent
That when He tries He says I'd better let this alone because it thinks it's fine on its own
It is so small and there is no room for me.

(But you're too full of yourself and forget to leave room for God. So He leaves you alone.)

This also all connects to the lyrics of a song that we're singing tomorrow:

Heart of Worship by Matt Redman

When the music fades
And all is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless your heart

I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the ways things appear
You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You
All about You, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You
It's all about You Jesus

King of endless worth
No one could express
How much You deserve
Though I'm weak and poor
All I have is Yours
Every single breath

I'll bring You more than just a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You
All about You, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You
It's all about You Jesus

Its all about you
Jesus

I don't want to be "all replete with very me" tomorrow.  I want it to be all about Him.

not much

I can't say much, because it's not the sort of thing one can broadcast in a blog. But today I had the opportunity to support a friend who really needed it. I only wish that I could do more. In the meantime,  I hope she knows I truly am keeping her in my thoughts and prayers (something that I think that some people automatically say and don't always actually do). And I'm asking God to keep her close.

advance patience, please

First of all, I'm praying for patience for tomorrow in advance. I saw signs on my street that lead me to believe that the construction workers will return tomorrow morning. Dum dum dum (if this makes no sense, go back an entry).

Other than that, today is another day that I need to simply pray for someone I know. Today's friend is someone I've known practically FOREVER. I think we first met when we were about 7. She was there for my entire childhood, and I'm so thankful for that. I'm even more grateful to FB because it's allowed to keep in touch more easily and I know far more about her life now than I would otherwise. I've been blessed enough to meet her beautiful family last year and will be sure to include them in my prayers as well.

Dude, is this your car?

I'm gonna be real here. This morning, I was not at my "serving-est". (And yes, it's my blog so I get to make up words.)

The doorbell rang while I was half-dressed. I went down to answer it. A construction worker was standing there. He wanted to know if the car parked across the street was mine as they were getting ready to work on the the road in front of my house. I told him it wasn't, and I was sorry but I didn't know whose it was. He apologized for bothering me. I told him it was no trouble at all. He left. I was very calm about the whole thing and nice. God may have been proud. (I don't want to presume to say that He was. ;) )

10 minutes later, the doorbell rings again followed by some loud pounding. I am in the middle of getting ready for work. I try to fight it, but I'm pretty sure I look and sound mildly annoyed. He proceeds to ask me about the car across the street. I proceed to tell him it's not mine and suggest they try the street they had blocked off the night before since those people were pretty much forced to park on my street. I didn't say a word about his having rung the bell for the second time (which was God in action, let me tell ya). But I guess I didn't do a good enough job controlling the annoyance. Because he suddenly said, "Oh, I'm sorry, have we already been here?"

I told him that they had, but it was ok. At this point I was really going to have to rush to get to work on time. I had already discovered that I was out of deodorant. Not a good item to be missing on a hot day when one is spending it at a park outside.

I scurried around, and managed to be in my car with plenty of time to make it to a store to get the deodorant and some desperately needed coffee.

I started to back down the driveway. A truck pulled up directly behind me. It moved, and I started to back out again. But an old lady walked up directly behind my car. She just stood there for a while, then bent over to touch the concrete and brush her face with whatever she found (I don't know either). Eventually, she realized that I wanted to back out of the driveway and moved. Then she stared at me with a "roll down your window" face. So I did. And.........

She asked me if the car across the street was mine. Even followed it up with an, "Are you sure it doesn't belong to anyone in that house?"

I think I served God right about then by being extremely patient and polite as I explained that it wasn't my car and I was sure it didn't belong to anyone in my house. About this time, I spotted the construction workers at the end of the street staring at me pointedly as they waited for me to get out of the street.

I managed to get the items I needed at the store and book it to work.

I have since decided that the next time something like this comes up I'm going to try chanting, "Love is patient, love is kind," in my head. Hopefully I'll remember that when the time comes.

praying for friends

I've decided that on the "slow days" when nothing is glaringly obvious as a way that I can/did serve God, another thing that I'd like to do is pick out people from my Facebook page to pray for. I'm someone who is on Facebook just about daily. I like to keep track of my friends, especially those who are far away and/or I haven't seen in a long time. So, each time this kind of day comes up, I will go to my page and pray for the first person who I see in my friends list. I won't reveal the identity of the person I'm praying for today. But I will say that she is a very dear friend who has been there for me through a lot (especially in the past several years). Her ears are always open to listen to any venting I may need to do and she is quick to hug me when I need those as well. She is a blessing on my life and I'm so glad to have her.

good day

Today I had a good morning at a park with the kids from school. There were also tons of other children and their parents- and even a couple more summer camp programs. I got to serve God by putting aside my physical discomforts and having some fun with the kids. I hung upside on some monkey bars. I played hopscotch (and even taught a few kids who didn't know how to play the actual game). I even got in the little fountains with the kids and got soaking wet. Everyone was so nice and it was just a pleasant environment. A little girl joined our hopscotch game and my class accepted her without question. Two separate people gave our kids some bread so they would have something to throw for the ducks (something we never thought about beforehand). We even got compliments from a Mom/fellow teacher who commented on the excellent behavior of our kids. It was great to see God at work in all the little ways through the interactions between those in our environment today. And of course there's nothing like being in nature to make God feel a little closer in general. It was nice to spot Him so clearly in the midst of my day today.

I did it.

Well, I did it. This morning I met with the Band Guy and went over a few songs. I made sure to preface it by telling him about my bronchitis struggles. He was very understanding, which was a plus. I started getting nervous as we sang the last song as a congregation at the end of the church service. So I sent a prayer up to God.

My voice was still a little shaky, and I couldn't hit some of the notes the way I would've liked. But. I did it. And I guess I managed to do it well enough. Because he said it sounded good and asked me to sing in church next weekend! :) I'm just  so excited to be able to serve in this new way! To actually use the gifts He's given me in front of others to glorify Him is a pretty special thing. I pray that He would use my voice to help others hear Him in a way that they might not otherwise. And I'm so happy to be getting the chance to do something that I love to do.

Now if my lungs would only surrender my full vocal range by Sunday. (hack hack cough) Oh well. Baby steps.

music is like breathing

Even though my health still isn't the best, I'm still thankful. God has seen fit to give me enough of my voice back that I was able to practice singing the songs for church tonight. And I'm hoping that I'll still be able to sing in the morning.

While singing, I did my best to take a moment for praise. In order to stay connected to God, praise is important. And, for me, the best way to praise has always been to sing. I can't really describe how it feels to close my eyes and sing for God. Except to say that there have been moments that everything else seems to fall away. No thoughts of what my next meal is going to be, no stray reminders to call this person or that person, no thoughts of work or family, no thoughts of this earthly life to be found in my brain. When you consider the zillions of thoughts that typically flit around in there, that is kind of a big deal.

I think maybe some of my anger about not being able to sing earlier this week stemmed from the fact that it made me feel a bit cut off from God. But it is natural and normal to feel separated from time to time. And things aren't always going to go the way I think they should, no matter how much I want it to be that way.

And, like it or not, singing is not the only way to praise. Still, I'm glad to be able to do it again.

A quote I posted on Facebook this week seems like an appropriate ending:

"Music to me is like breathing-I don't get tired of breathing, I don't get tired of music." Ray Charles

attitude

Attitude is everything. Although these words have been repeated so many times, they truly are important. In order to be open to what God wants to do through me, I must have the right attitude. Without it, it's pretty much impossible to serve. Even more interesting, the more effort/thought I put into what I'm doing, the more likely it is that it will serve to glorify God. For instance, I might wind up folding laundry at work some day. I could simply do it as quickly as possible in order to finish the task and move on. Or. I could do it mindfully. Prayerfully even. I could make sure that each item is folded to the best of my ability. I could even go one step further, and actually hand-deliver it after it is folded. I could even go so far as to offer to put it away. I could pray for those who will be using the items I am folding. And as a final step, I could check the washing machine and move the next person's laundry into the dryer for them if there is any. Just an example of how the simple, the mundane, can quickly become God's work.  I chose to take a simple task today that I didn't even have to do and try to it as thoroughly and well as possible (despite the fact that I still don't feel my best). And I am glad that I did it.

Do I always remember to do these sorts of things? Am I to a point where everything I do is the best I can offer? Absolutely not. But I certainly want to continue to strive to try.

frustrated

I'll be honest, tonight, at this moment I'm feeling frustrated.

It actually started out well enough, with meeting friends for dinner and a short shopping excursion with one of them.

But then I got home. And I started to feel less well. (Today was much better on the health front. But now I'm not sure what tomorrow will bring.)

And I decided it was time to practice my songs for the church band. Since I'm supposed to be singing for the band guy on Sunday.

I can't hit most of the notes properly right now. It's lame. And frustrating. Why would God allow me to have this opportunity, only to not allow me to follow through with it?

I know I can (and will if necessary) ask the Band Dude if it's ok if I sing for him another time. But....I've been waiting so long. I wanted to do it this weekend. And I'm frustrated.

But that is ok. And it's ok to be a little upset/angry. If the people in the Bible are allowed to vent their emotions to God, surely I can as well.

smallest sacrifices

This is going to be one of those days of teeny tiny baby steps toward serving.

This morning I got out of bed early to pray and read my Bible since I couldn't keep my eyes open long enough to do so the night before. Getting up early is one of the most difficult things for me in life. So, though it was small, it was a sacrifice.

And right now, I'm writing this blog. Even though I'm not feeling well and planning to crash in bed in the next few minutes (even though it's 9:30 pm and I'm usually up for another 2 to 4 hours).

Sorry, but that's all I've got for now folks.

human

This is the part where I get to be human. As Bella would put it (yes, I read "Twilight" and NO I don't want to hear about it if you don't like it), "I need a human moment."

So I'm not going to beat myself up over the fact that I dropped the ball and didn't blog for several days. I'm human. It's bound to happen sooner or later. And it's ok. It doesn't mean I wasn't trying to serve God on those days. It just means that I didn't get time to write about it.

Ok, now that I got that off of my chest, let me catch you up on the goings on in the last few days.

One thing I'm trying to get back on board about (besides this blog, obviously) is remembering to stick with my prayer list. I've gotten really good about adding to it, but not always so good about praying it. Lately my prayer times have been short and sweet as I feel like I've been burning the candle at both ends. But I want to do this and I want to do it right. So I'll keep trying.

Two awesome things happened in church this weekend. The first is that I (along with some of the other wonderful people I was with) got to share a few of my experiences from my mission trip. I'm sure you've caught on by now that it was a very impactful experience and I love getting to share about it with others.

The second is that I finally connected with the "band guy" and was given some songs to start practicing. So, it looks like this singing in church thing may actually come to fruition. Whoa. Kind of big, exciting stuff.

Yesterday I got the pleasure of having some "big sister moments" and watching over my little sister as she endured some difficult medical testing. She probably doesn't realize it, but I whispered prayers over her as she rested and tried to recover.

So, yes. Life is full and God seems to be pouring out blessings lately. Which is truly awesome.

"no idea where I am going"

Today was one of those days where I wound up doing a few small things to help others and serve God in the process. I made another donation to Goodwill today, and have another large one ready for tomorrow. I also went to www.outnumberhunger.com and made a donation of 5 meals to my local food bank. I did this by putting in the code from my Totino's Pizza Rolls packaging (and now I totally want a pizza roll but hey).

While going through various items that I own in my quest to downsize my possessions, I came across this prayer. It's by Thomas Merton, from "Thoughts in Solitude".

"My Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you, does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know, that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always, though I may seem to be lost.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone."
If that doesn't fit this blog, I don't know what does.

(fyi I won't be posting tomorrow evening. I'll be at my sister's house. But I will try to jot something down so as to do a make-up entry when I return.)

a day late (*gasp*)

(written yesterday, Thusday July 26)

I feel like I have to preface this entry by saying, in no way do I consider today a bad day (and anyone who was part of the changes to my plans should not feel any guilt or think that I'm feeling negatively toward them).

However, today's theme seemed to be: roll with the punches.

Absolutely nothing went the way I thought it would today.

I brought in some cereal and a coffee cup to work. I had planned to add a little milk to the cereal and then use the coffee pot in my classroom to have a cup. (Yes, I should have eaten at home, but I was super tired last night and had lots of trouble getting out of bed this morning.) The milk I had planned on using wasn't available and leaving my class long enough to get coffee wasn't able to happen.

My lunch time didn't happen as usual. Then when I went to buy a drink to go with my lunch, they were all out of the size cups I wanted.

I returned to my classroom with big plans that had to be delayed because the children had made a large mess with nearly every toy in the room. That's when I started to really notice that things weren't happening the way I thought they should.

I could go on, but you get the idea. Nothing big or life-altering, but just a series of things not turning out the way I planned. And now here I sit, writing this entry way later than I had originally intended.

So today, I believe I served God by being flexible. By keeping a smile on my face and "not sweating the small stuff". By not allowing myself to decide that today would be a "bad day" just because things weren't going according to my plans. By reminding myself that it’s not my will, but His that should be done.

After all, I've learned over the years that sometimes when things don't follow my plans, God is working in my life and amazing things are about to follow.

 

P.S. As an ultimate culmination of this day, this entry refused to save and I’m just now posting it a day later.

listening ears

"Turn your listening ears on," is a phrase I often utter to small children. But you know what? That is easier said than done.

I think that as adults, most of us consider ourselves to be pretty self-disciplined. Lately, though, God is gently showing me my flaws while offering me the chance to embrace them.

One thing that most people find is important to a healthy prayer or meditation life is the ability to sit in silence and truly relax and/or listen for a while.

Today it became glaringly obvious that this is not necessarily one of my strong suits.

First of all, I have trouble sitting still without fidgeting. I am nearly always moving some part of my body.

Secondly, music is a HUGE part of my life. I'm almost always singing and pretty much always have a song in my head.

Thirdly, as mentioned in a previous entry, I'm a talker. I like to do it. I even talk back at the TV when watching (which is often quite amusing for others).

So imagine what it was like for me when God put me in a position today that brought up all of those challenges.

Today I managed a 15 minute drive in silence. I was transporting a child who was not feeling well and wanted to be quiet out of respect for her.

And...it was really hard. In the car I ALWAYS play music and sing along and/or talk to the person/people in the car with me. Not being able to do that, even for 15 minutes was a struggle. Silly, but true.

I even wound up cheating a little and humming to myself extremely quietly.

What is it about silence that makes us want to fill it? Are we afraid of what we'll here if we relinquish control for a moment and listen inwardly? Am I afraid of these things?

I guess this is just another facet of God teaching me to be a better listener, eh?

compassion

Today I tried to serve God with patience as I encountered sometimes emotionally distressed,  sometimes dramatic, sometimes rowdy children who were all cooped up on a rainy day! He gave me compassion for a child who was visibly struggling to get his emotions together and didn't quite know how. He supplied me with energy I probably shouldn't have had after a short night's sleep (last night was a rough night for me). And He helped me come up with ways to keep the kids (mostly) safe (we had a minor injury today) and having fun.

So sorry these entries are getting more concise and less thought out. It seems like there aren't enough hours in the day lately. But life is good as well as busy. And I thank God for that.

tiny/small

Today my service to God feels tiny, minuscule. And although I think in one way that is very true, in another it absolutely isn't. Because today, I prayed for others.

On one hand, they were short, small prayers. To the God of the universe. And there are millions of others out there, praying to him. I'm like one tiny star in a vast galaxy.

On the other hand, I am known. He knows me specifically, loves me for me, knows my name. So that means He does hear and value what I say to Him.

I know what it feels like to know others are praying for me. And that feeling isn't small.

Woman at the Well (here's the poem I mentioned yesterday)

extra baggage

I hope that my internet connection holds out long enough for me to post this. Please God?

Today I donated a TV to Goodwill. I'm realizing more and more that I've been lugging around too much extra baggage in life. Both literally and emotionally. A few things have brought me to this realization. One is trying to condense everything I own into a manageable space while trying my hardest to get my stuff out the way of the kind people who have allowed me to take up their space. Another is the recent death of my Mother. It really hit home for much just how much stuff most people leave behind. She was a pack rat like me. I don't want to leave that many things behind for my loved ones to sort through, deal with, feel guilty about the possibility of getting rid of it in a way that doesn't honor me. And we still have so much of her stuff to go through. Plus, there is more of MY stuff in that house. That reality alone makes me want to give up more. And I will. Jesus told the disciples to give up their possessions and come follow Him. I don't think I'll be getting rid of everything, but I really need to get rid of MANY things. I pray that He helps me to do that and serve Him as I do so.

Another cool thing that happened today is that my church's service included a spoken word poem based on the Bible. I loved it and it really made me want to write. I have written a couple of poems based on the Bible privately before. Maybe it's time to start sharing them here, if nothing else. And to write more. If I can find a video on YouTube, I'll post it.

(for those who want to listen) Justin Bieber - Pray

*READ the post below if you want to understand why I'm posting this**

your thoughts would be appreciated

I'm considering adding the ads feature to this blog. Not to enhance my own bank account, but to allow me to make periodic donations to people/places in need. I think that would an excellent way to reach out (assuming that the ads actually made a decent amount of money). What do you think? Do any of you out there reading use this feature? Is this a good idea?

I really like having a physical prayer list. I don't know why I haven't ever done this before. Every time I sign into Facebook, there are people that I know and care about in desperate need of prayers. For themselves and for their families and friends. I think that this will be a great way to keep those people in mind throughout my week and pray specifically for their concerns often. The same is true for those that I actually get to see in my everyday life.

I also have to add that right now Justin Beiber's song "Pray" is playing on my Pandora channel. Coincidence...I think not. (yeah yeah...it's cool if you don't like him. I think he's tremendously talented and will still be around in 20 years. To each their own. But if that is the case, I challenge you to listen to the song anyway and really hear the lyrics.)

whispers

I spent more time with the little guy with the cast this morning. He wound up with us hanging out by yet another pool today. Which is how I found myself involved in a game of War that lasted over 40 minutes and was still going when it was time for us to leave. And he was laughing, smiling, and enjoying himself. Even better, some of the other kids joined us. It probably didn't hurt that it was pretty cold in the pool today.

I just told a friend that I'm becoming more sensitive to the whispers lately. I'm realizing that sometimes the things that I think of as impulsive decisions may also be little nudges from God. They tell me to do things like go into the kitchen and check to see if anyone needs my help before leaving a dinner at church tonight. There I found a woman washing dishes and in need of someone to dry them. I had been considering leaving, but I was glad I stayed and listened to that "whisper".

Another came in the form of a conversation with an old friend tonight. For some reason, I really felt like I was supposed to contact her. She later revealed that she thought that it was God's idea. And during that conversation, I had the idea through yet another "whisper" to make my prayer list a concrete thing. That is something that I've never actually done. But I quickly grabbed the journal that I'm already keeping with my Bible and started adding names/situations to the list. I know this isn't a new concept. But it's a new habit for me.

This verse seems like an appropriate ending:

"He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10

The more I take time to be still, more I'll hear His voice.

not necessarily my plan

I was glad I showed up to VBS tonight. A teensy part of me almost talked me into not going because I still needed to eat dinner and it was already almost 7 pm by the time I got home. And this week has been tiring, I'm not gonna lie. But I elected to grab a snack and do dinner drive-thru style. I'm glad I did. It was one more night to help where I was needed, to build new relationships with kids in my church, to serve in a way that was concrete and obvious. Sometimes concrete and obvious are good adjectives. Especially when one is seeking out opportunities to serve in her everyday life.

Speaking of which. A snag that I'm hitting is a tendency to want to plan out what I think my opportunities might be each day. If this is truly about serving God, I need to be looking and listening to what His plans might be. And yes, they may coincide. But I want to be sure that I'm keeping my eyes and ears open as my day unfolds. As opposed to waking up in the morning and thinking, "Ok, so today the way I'll serve will be to ______." Does that make sense?

child-like

Today I went to a water park with the summer campers from the school where I work. It was  a lot of fun! Almost immediately though, God put a task in my path. One of the little guys was unable to enjoy the park fully because he was in a cast. He was pretty upset about this fact. I made it my mission to cheer him up as much as possible.  I checked in with him frequently, kept him company pretty often, and basically did my job to the best of my ability.

Full disclosure, though. It was hard at first. The child-like side of me (which I am still in frequent touch with as an educator of small children) was anxious to be in the water enjoying the water slides and everything else the park had to offer. She was feeling antsy sitting by the side of the pool and wondering what the other kids were up to. I told her to take a chill pill and be quiet because this kiddo needed my attention. Eventually I struck a bargain in which I would still enjoy the park while giving plenty of time and attention to this child. This worked beautifully. I'm sure he still wishes he could have been in the water. But I think we both managed to have a good day. (And yes, I did eventually make it to the water slides. I know you were worried. ;) )

connection

I went back to VBS tonight. I seem to be developing a connection with one of the little girls. She immediately plopped down next to me when she came to craft time (the area where I plan to help out the rest of the week unless needed to go somewhere else) after we had worked together yesterday. I gave her a big grin and said, "You're back. I think we make a great team!" I also made sure to warn her that I won't be back tomorrow night (tomorrow's work day will be fun but a bit more tiring so I'm taking the night off from VBS). But yes, I'm still happily serving in the Artsy Crafty area. And helping out in any way that I can find. Those of you who know me are not at all shocked, I'm quite sure.

The other moment of note happened on my drive back home tonight. An ambulance and fire truck went zipping through the light where I was stopped. As is my usual custom, I prayed for those inside the emergency vehicles and those they were going to help.

Active listening has caused me to be a couple minutes late a few times recently. I've discovered that it's really difficult to end a conversation when one is striving to listen actively to everything the other person has to say. Maybe I'll get better/more graceful at it soon. In the meantime, at least others are feeling heard. At least, I hope so.

profound/obvious combo

I had a thought today that seemed both profound and obvious.

Another little nugget of wisdom that this challenge has brought to my attention is the fact that sometimes serving is hard. You don't feel like it. You don't have energy. You're tired. And by you, I mean me.

So...here comes the profound/obvious combo thought:

Jesus got tired too.

"But (someone or more than one someone might be thinking) He wasn't like me! He was all glowy and good and hung out with sheep."

But people, guess what? According to everything I've ever known/ been taught, Jesus was fully human as well as being fully divine.

Which means that He experienced everything that we do while being human.

Which means, sometimes he was probably tired and maybe he even didn't really feel like it (insert task here).

And I have a feeling when that happened, He did exactly what I did today. I prayed for more energy and thanked God for the opportunity to serve even when it was hard.

And you know what? God delivered.

I had a great time helping some kids make crafts this evening during my church's VBS. As my Mom would have put it, I got an attitude adjustment.

And it probably didn't hurt that He let it pour down cold rain on me as I ran into the church. ;)

It's ok to humble yourself and ask for help.

One thing this challenge I'm attempting is showing me is just how humble I need to be. There are days when God is practically gift wrapping opportunities to serve. There are others when I know that the opportunities must be there, but apparently I'm missing them. I wonder if He sometimes wants to beat me over the head with them and say, "Here I am, come serve me over here!! This really isn't that difficult!". One reason I think this is going on is that I'm slipping up a little when it comes to prayer.

I'll admit it. There are seasons in my life when I remember to pray often. There are others where it begins to be something that I don't do as often as I should. Right now, I'm somewhere in the middle. And that's not where I want to be.

If I truly want to serve Him each and every day, doesn't it make sense that I need to be as close and connected as possible? Therefore, I need to get better about this. Little prayers before I do something difficult are great, but I need to remember to spend time no matter what. Apparently, there's yet another habit I need to form/re-form.

I find that the best time for me to spent time with God is just before bed. I've tried waking up early, but what tends to happen is that I'm not awake at all and I wind up staring bleary-eyed at my Bible and feeling guilty for not being at my best. I've also learned that I have to be sure to get to bed while still pretty awake in order to be successful. Otherwise, repeat the bleary-eyed scene.

It's a tough life, being a sleeper/night owl combo. ;)

I also need to confess that I slipped up a little with the active listening today. I dealt with some insomnia last night (not entirely sure what was up with that) and then woke up 2 hours early this morning crying after a bad dream. So a couple of times when a friend from church was talking to me, I forgot to focus. I think I may have even given her a few blank stares. Oops. I guess I have to try to do better tomorrow.

Speaking of opportunities gift-wrapped and placed into my lap, this week I'll be helping out at my church's vacation Bible school after work. It looks to be a lot of fun with plenty of opportunities to help where I'm needed. Today I started off this awesome opportunity by staying after church to help decorate and get ready. It was a time when it wasn't a stretch for me to use the talents I've been blessed with and pitch in. Long arms and legs, my comfort with being on a ladder, and my love of artsy things in general all came into play. I'm psyched to see what else the week brings!

MEAC

I don't know if today really counts all that much. I did decide that I want to donate clothing to one of the ministry partners where I served during my trip. It's called  Madisonville Education and Assistance Center and helps those who are in need of basic necessities like clothing, food, etc.  In case you're interested in helping them out too, they do have a list of needed items or you can simply make a donation on their website: http://meaconline.org/ . They told us their mission is put themselves out of business. That's a pretty awesome goal if you ask me. When I was there, I cleaned bathrooms, unloaded boxes from a delivery and shelved a few of them, and sorted the clothing items on the shelves by size and color. I also got the opportunity to speak directly with a few of the people and help them look for items. Oh, and I got to decorate a few treat bags that we were already preparing for their Fall Festival. I'm all about the crafty-ness, so this was a good job for me.

 But anyway, that is the thing I did today. Made the decision to fill a box and send it to them. I didn't do it yet, though. Hopefully in this case it's the thought that counts for now. And I guess I did spread the word about them to all of you. So maybe that counts for something, too.


(P.S. Any updated clothing donations would probably be much appreciated. I literally saw the exact pair of stonewashed jeans with zippers up the back of the legs that I rocked in the early 80s along with many other oldies. Wait, let me see if I can get a pic.... aha! Check out these bad boys!)

woman on a mission

This morning was a thankful one. I had an extremely rare unexpected day off due to plumbing issues at work. I discovered something. It's harder to find ways to serve God when you're home by yourself for most of the day. Not impossible, but harder. Ditto for practicing active listening.

However, I am noticing that I'm taking more notice of the people around me in public since my mission trip. I am often a "woman on a mission" while out shopping and I've been known to walk right past people that I know. But now I'm finding myself more likely to notice those around me and be open to interacting with them more often. And as is always my custom, I am always ultra polite to all those who wait on me and thank them sincerely.

Tonight there was a small gathering at my church and I tried to help in little ways where I was needed. Assist people with tye dye shirt designs. Pushing kids on swings that needed help. Things like that. I would have done these things anyway, but I was glad to be aware that I was serving as they were happening.

I guess technically these days I'm always a woman on a mission.

imperfection is inevitable

Firstly, the listening challenge remains...well, a challenge. Today's focus was a student that makes the whole thing interesting. Bless him, but he chatters nearly constantly. He gets excited and repeats himself, consistently discusses topics that I know nothing about, and is a close/loud talker. He's very sweet, but after a while it can really be a challenge to stay with him in a conversation. So today I strove to make sure that I gave him eye contact and more appropriate responses than, "Uh huh, Mmm hmm, yeah, etc.". It really seemed to help most of the time. A few times I slipped up and admittedly did get distracted. But I'm human and I can't always be perfect. Neither can he, and he deserves all that I can give him.

The other way I served today was to pray for something I heard about on the radio on the way home. It always hurts my heart to see or hear about a serious car accident. This one sounded like a doozy with at least 8 people hurt and one transported to the hospital via helicopter. I prayed for the accident victims, their families, their doctors, and those caring for them on the scene. I also prayed for those who were stuck on the highway at a complete standstill as all of this was going on. I have to be careful, though, because at one point I was so lost in thought/prayer about them that I almost didn't notice when the car in front of me came to a sudden stop. Thanks God, for watching out for me so I didn't end up in an accident,too.

distractions abound

Here's a little tip for you: active listening is not easy while surrounded by children who don't always follow the social custom of waiting until you finish one conversation to try to start another. I truly believe that part of my inability to focus on one thing only half the time stems from the many years I've worked with children.

Having said that, I also noticed today that the bus ride was a little more pleasant for me when I actively engaged in a conversation with one of my students. I always try to be a good listener, but I'll admit sometimes I'm not fully there as a kid chatters away. This morning, I was, and it made a huge difference. The child in the seat next to me and I connected more than we have all summer. It was nothing big (a huge conversation topic was the many cornfields we spotted), but it made us both happy.

Another consequence of this whole active listening goal is that I caught myself a couple of times trying extra hard today with people that I knew have been reading! Didn't want to get busted not even trying! This is not necessarily a bad thing.

The other thing that I did today was to clean up a mess I found. We stopped at a park to eat our lunches today, and I noticed balloons everywhere! Upon closer inspection as I tried to clean them up, I also found several plastic toy soldiers. Several of them had been extremely mutilated (one was mostly just a torso and not much else) but I found a couple that were still intact and gave them to one of the kids standing nearby. I also found a car-shaped silly band and gifted that as well. It was something small, but it made them smile. And caring for the planet He created seems like a great way to serve God to me.

Chatty Cathy

Those of you who know me well probably know that I'm an avid Pinterest fan. Especially if you follow me, you can vouch for it. Pinterest is a wealth of information, a fun way to collect images, jokes, etc. I just love it! Anyway, the reason I bring this up is that last night I was looking through my board devoted to quotes. (I'm also an avid fan of good quotes.) And I came across a pin that really applies. It is a list called Ten Ways to Love. When I followed the link, it took me to the page of a blog called "Gorgeous Puddin's Ponderings". So please know that the following words and ideas are in no way my own. I'm not even entirely sure if they're hers, or someone else's. Anyway. Here is the link to the pin, so you can find the blog if you want: http://pinterest.com/pin/232990980692396376/

ANYWAY (just want to give credit where credit is due), the first thing on the list is:

1.) Listen without interrupting. Proverbs 18.

If you're anything like me, those words leave you wanting to know exactly what Proverbs 18 says. So, here's a link to the NIV version. I'll wait. ;) : http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+18&version=NIV

I decided last night after reading the "Ten Ways to Love" list that it was the perfect thing to apply to those days that I don't see a glaringly obvious way to serve God during the day. And...well, I'll be honest. I'm a talker. I like to talk. I'm one of those people who thinks quickly and so I truly AM listening to what you're saying but my brain can't help but race ahead to what I'm going to say next as you're talking. And sometimes I forget to listen/pay attention. Definitely an area for me to strive to improve and serve God while doing so. So many people in this world just need/want someone to really, truly listen. I could definitely get better, although I do try. For instance, I always stop to listen to the response when I ask someone how they're doing. I absolutely HATE it when people ask that question and just keep walking without waiting for an answer. I realize that for some people it's a habit and it's become another way to say hello. But for me it just shows a lack of respect for what another person is saying. I also HATE it when people say "fine" and don't elaborate. But I guess there's not much I can do about that. Ha ha.

So, I just decided while writing this that the goal of listening actively is a habit I'm going to try to develop this month. I had been thinking of setting it as a focus for the week, but I don't think a week is going to be long enough. Plus, I'm pretty sure that 30 days is supposedly how long it takes to form a new habit. So a month it shall be. And trust me, it will be work for me. I tend to get distracted a lot.

I have one other report of a way I served God today. I passed a car that was broken down right at a busy traffic light on my way home from work. My first instinct was to think, "Man, that must suck..." But after a couple of seconds, the light bulb came on. Here was an opportunity! The driver was nowhere in sight, so I couldn't offer to help him/her directly. But what I could do was pray. So I did. I prayed specifically for the safety of the driver, good help from others, and the finances to fix whatever was wrong. As a person who has had her fair share of car trouble, I know how much that kind of prayer would mean to me. So I was glad to be given the chance to do it for someone else.

Apparently I have a lot to say today. I guess I'm making up for yesterday. ;) And I guess it fits what I said up there about my liking to talk......

patience is a virtue...and it isn't always easy

I'll be honest, I didn't expect a day like this to come so quickly. Today was a struggle to find a way to serve God. Mostly because today was a struggle in general. I'm pretty tired and think all of the crazy of last week is still catching up with me. And the kiddos were so LOUD and rambunctious today!! (I promise it wasn't just me being tired and therefore sensitive to noise and such because I confirmed this with the other adult in the room.)

So I feel like God did more for me today than I did for Him. I did ask Him for patience. And tried to serve Him by being as patient as possible. But....after the need to remind them to use indoor voices came up again for the 50th time or so, I really needed the help. Yikes!

In other news, today a friend contacted me and told me that she had a dream that she was supposed to tell me that this blog is going to help a lot of people. That's pretty cool stuff, I have to tell you. And I hope she doesn't mind my metioning it here. I figure it is an interesting thing to share with everyone and maybe even another way God is speaking to me. Kind of awesome, don't you think?

Not How I Pictured It

Well, this morning I finally did something that God's been telling me to do for quite a while. And, I guess I've been behaving a bit like a child about it. Because I've essentially been ignoring Him. Stamping my feet and screaming, "I DON'T WANNA!".

So He's been very patiently placing people in my path who all keep saying the same thing: "You have a beautiful voice. Have you ever sung with a group? Have you ever sung in church? You should!". And every time, I've been blushing a little, thanking them politely, and then proceeding to give them an excuse why the time isn't right. But essentially they were just variations on "I DON'T WANNA!".

This past week while on the mission trip, God was working overtime with this kind of thing. 4 separate people talked to me about singing in church. A couple of them told me that they can hear me during worship and they really think I should be up front. Even one of the guys who led the singing during our worship times together approached me and said the same thing.

And so.

Now I've reached a point where God's not going to let me simply get away with an, "I DON'T WANNA."

And today, I finally responded to God's push through the desires in my heart (because even though I've been saying "I DON'T WANNA" and resisting, it's something I've felt called to do since the first day I set foot in my church) as well as the words of others. I took a deep breath, walked my little butt up to the front of the church, and talked to the band leader about singing with them.

The funniest part is that before all of that happened, the pastor preached all about whining and wanting to do things our way instead of listening to God. He said he figures that God gets little 3 year old tantrums from us a lot.

So, anyway, as the title says, the whole talking to the band leader thing was not how I pictured it. It's not like I was expecting some sort of fanfare or for him to gasp out, "OH great, we've been waiting for you!". But he simply took down my email address, told me he'd  probably have to meet with me next week to see what I'm good at and not good at. He looked almost suspicious when he asked if I could do harmonies and I cautiously answered, "Some."

And you know what? Ordinarily, that would be enough to shake me up. That would be enough to make me rethink the whole thing, especially if he forgot to email me. But you know what else? I'm not worried. I know that I did what I was supposed to do. Now God will take care of the rest. It's not on me, and there's no sense in freaking out about it.

Embarking on My Journey

I just spent an entire week on a mission trip with my church. We were serving in Cincinnati, through "Awaken the City" which is sponsored by Hyde Park United Methodist church.

I don't really know exactly what I'm doing here. But what I do know is, I feel like I'm supposed to be doing this. I'm supposed to tell the world that today God challenged me to find a way to serve Him every day and write about it. If there's one thing that I learned this week, it's that I should listen when God calls, even if I don't quite understand or feel a little silly or confused.

So, as Samuel said in a story we read in the Bible this week, "Here I am."

Today I'm starting in a way that feels both small and huge. I'm starting this blog and accepting the challenge. I know that some days, it's really going to be hard to look for a way to serve. I'll be tired and grumpy and not want to challenge myself in any way. Some days (let's face it, maybe many days) I'll be sick. Some days I'll be caught up in something else. But I don't care. I'm going to try anyway. If I truly want to use my life for the things that God is asking me to do, I have to be brave and bold and ignore the voice in my head that always comes up with 72 zillion reasons why something might not work (man is that voice obnoxious!).

So I'm listening to God and starting this blog today. I also served Him in a tiny way. My roommate left me a note asking me to water her plants while she was on vacation. Rather than put it off to do later (I had just walked in the door from my trip and I had a bunch of luggage to take upstairs), I took the time to do it right away. A little thing, to be sure, but I hold no grand illusions that every day I'll be feeding the hungry or helping the blind. Some days, I'll just be watering the plants and doing the little things that need to be done.

And that's ok with me.